MY FIRST HEART MONTH

I was surprised at how much American Heart Month meant to me. Maybe because having a disease is, at its core, a very lonely thing. No matter how much others care, no one really knows what it feels like -- or how it makes you feel -- to just be.

So I set out to connect as much as possible. To not be lonely, or sad, or scared, or depressed. But to be active, engaged, positive, and happy instead. It worked, and I was.

I shared my story a few places, like guest blogging for friends and colleagues, writing an article for the Minnesota Women's Press, and speaking at the United Hospital Foundation's annual "Celebrating the Hearts of Women" event. I went to the American Heart Association's Go Red for Women Casting Call (an on-camera interview that they use to choose annual spokeswomen; I will find out if I made the cut in May) and my yoga instructor and I set up a Go Red class session where I shared my story and information on women and heart disease. Today, on the last day of the month, I volunteered with the AHA-Minnesota at Whole Foods, which is donating 5 percent of that day's sales to the fight against heart disease.

This blog featured guest posts by my friend/best-running-coach-ever Breanne about how to get moving, and my husband shared his story. I'm thinking of turning over my blog to him; his post has the second-highest views of all time! 

Last weekend, I had a red wine-themed party and celebrated life, fun, and wine (though some also celebrated beer). But my favorite part of the month was receiving all the photos of friends and family and readers wearing red on February 3; never have I felt less lonely while being all alone. 

So, yeah, Heart Month is a big deal to me. Thank you for all you did to make it great!

A FLASH MOB WITH HEART

I always love a flash mob video, but this one got to me a little bit. Midway through the camera captures some people holding signs thanking scientists, doctors, nurses, pharmacists, clinical trial participants, and others who work every day to manage, cure, or prevent heart disease. I was looking for flash mob fun but found myself choked up and goosebumpy with gratitude. It's not about me. I'm just part of this big new community.

GUEST POST: HOW TO GET MOVING

My friend Breanne has been my running inspiration for years. When I first started running to lose weight after my second son, she cheered my first 5K like I'd just finished the Boston Marathon. When I decided to try for my first marathon, she became my coach. She helped me create a training program, provided critical advice (Body Glide: get some!), and listened to my running stories with amazing patience though she'd been there dozens of times before. (I really can talk about a long run for upwards of an hour.)

So naturally she was the first person I thought of who could give us the best advice about how to start exercising and how to keep going day after day, year after year, until it adds more to your life than just fitting into your skinny jeans or finishing your first 5K.

My brother and me after our first marathon. Breanne coached my brother too,
since everything she told me I passed on to him. Eventually he started sending
me emails that started "Could you ask Breanne ____."

Here's Breanne's take on how to get moving.

Six years ago my husband ran his first marathon. I was really impressed, and later vowed that if he ran the same marathon next year, I'd run the 10 mile race that went with it. A few days later I forced myself to run and had a miserable time. It was about 80 degrees out, I had no water, and I was going way too fast. "I hate running!" I thought. "I hate it! It's just not my thing."

I went on to run that 10 mile race and 13 marathons after that.

I discovered a few thing about myself and exercising along the way. When we want to start exercising I think many of us make the same mistakes and end up quitting. For example, we do an activity we think we should do, whether or not we enjoy it. If it hurts we take it as a sign that we can't do it or that the activity should hurt. We chose some heroic time of day to exercise that we hate.

If you'd like to start exercising and want long-term success, consider these things before getting started:

1. What time of day suits you best? I consider myself a morning person but that is not my best time for exercise. Neither is after work -- I'm too tired and hungry. While I occasionally do work out at those times my sweet spot is midday (over my lunch hour at work or midmorning or afternoon).
2. Do you prefer social activities or solo? What got me through my 10 mile training was realizing that I hated running alone. I joined a group training for the race and made friends and got advice and support.
3. What does your gut tell you that you enjoy the most? Does biking always feel great? Does yoga really fulfill something in your life? While it's fun try new things, you can't make yourself consistently do something you don't like. Don't second guess whether it's the "right" activity -- if your body is better for it, than it's worth doing.

A few other things that help make sure you'll keep at it:

1. The first few times (or weeks) you do your new activity, do it half as slow or easy as you think you should. We all do this -- we go out too hard at first. We're insecure, we think it's going to be hard so we make it so, and we cover up the fact that we don't know what we're doing by trying twice as hard. Most of the people who think they can't run really can -- they just need to slow way down and then build up over time.
2. Choose a goal, one that you admit to at least a few other people. A race, a distance, a yoga pose, a number of laps. When you reach that goal, celebrate! and then make a new one.
3. Figure out what motivates you. Does signing up for a class with set meeting times and a group to be responsible to appeal to you? Or would you rather draw up your own schedule and do it and not tell anyone? If you can have your exercise do double duty in your life (walking your dog, pushing the kids to the playground, biking to work) it'll be even easier to make it a habit.
4. Invest in some decent clothes to exercise in. Any kind of technical/wicking/dryfit clothes will do -- they are all fine. They should feel comfortable while you're exercising and keep you relatively cool. You should also like how you look in them. Target's C9 brand is fairly inexpensive and decent of quality.
5. Choose an activity that has an instructor (a class, group leader, or coach) or identify a mentor from your personal life. Having someone you can ask questions of helps keep you from feeling frustrated. And don't be afraid to ask questions -- who doesn't love to help someone else?

A few secrets to motivate you:

1. Once it's a regular part of your life, exercising really does give you energy and make you feel great.
2. The mental benefits of exercise are as amazing as the physical benefits. Nothing calms me down after a tough day like exercise. It also gives you a ton of confidence. 

Breanne is an amazing marathon mama and the best coach a girl could have. Read more about her life and her passions at her blog, Borealis.

YOGA POWER

I heart yoga.

I started about 18 months ago, shortly after leaving my full-time job. It had been on my I-really-should-but-don't-have-time list for years, and I finally screwed up my courage and took a beginner's class at a studio down the street from me. I had the best teacher who seemed to read my mind (she could always tell if I stopped focusing on my breathing and let my frantic thoughts take over) and who taught us very slowly and carefully. In that stressful transition period between ending my career and starting my new life as an at-home mom, yoga was the perfect partner. Where had it been all my life?

After a few beginners sessions and then continuing classes, I started heading out on my own to different drop-in classes, like the one on Wednesdays at a community center close to our house. The instructor is very good and has a devout following at the various classes she teaches around the city.

So I asked her one day (again, screwing up my courage) if she would consider having a Go Red for Women day at her classes. Her response was an enthusiastic "I love this idea!" I told her about my heart attack (I had just stopped coming to class and then appeared again weeks later with no explanation, and she didn't ask) and suggested we could wear red and I'd get some materials from the American Heart Association. She included my story and an article I wrote about women and heart disease in her email newsletter for three weeks, reaching 275 women.

Our Go Red for Women Yoga class was today and it was so empowering. I got a little choked up seeing all the people in red, and I shared a bit of my story. What struck me, though, watching everyone's reactions, was how little people know about women's risk of heart disease and heart attacks. They really don't know that it is the number one killer of women.

I said what I really wanted them to take away was knowledge of the risk factors for heart disease, and the knowledge that 80 percent of cardiac events were preventable through healthy choices. But I also wanted them to know that if they did everything right and still had a heart attack, then they needed to know the symptoms and to toss aside women's typical "don't be a bother" behavior and get themselves to the hospital, pronto.

The only man at class that day raised his hand. He is a paramedic, he said, and he wanted to tell us more about the signs and symptoms. Don't smoke, he reminded (I'd forgotten that one), and told us that for women, unexplained shortness of breath can mean a heart attack. I confessed I drove myself instead of calling 911 and he covered his face with his hands with frustration. I'm so glad he was there; I think his message really made an impact.

Yoga always makes me feel calm and strong and powerful, and it was even more so today. There's power in knowledge, power in community, and power in women. I felt it today and it felt amazing.

Namaste.

Yoga in my backyard with my nieces.

STRESS RELIEF

I got the results of my first post-heart attack stress test today, and the news is good. Very good.

My total cholesterol went from 230 to . . . (drumroll) . . . 106!
My LDL (bad) cholesterol went from 180 to . . . 58!!
My HDL (good) cholesterol also dropped a little, from 39 to 35, which is not the greatest news but expected, since my overall number is so low.

And even better news than that, my heart itself is in great shape. It has enough blood flow at rest and at peak exercise. It is not damaged or compromised from my heart attack. I wish you could have heard the nurse's voice on the phone when she said "and there's not even a scar!" with that little lilt of incredulity, like she didn't really believe what she was seeing.

I didn't expect this much progress either. True, I've been eating like a model heart patient, exercising 4-5 times a week, learning all I can, and taking all my bitter pills, with or without a spoonful of sugar. And though I expected some results (dammit), I didn't think it would be this dramatic. I really thought my DNA would have been more determinate.

So when you see articles and TV talk shows and PSAs where the doctors say "heart disease is largely preventable," that's really true. While I will always have it, if you know your numbers and commit to the necessary changes, you won't. Because all this stuff -- diet, exercise, and medication and focus and sacrifice and love and prayer -- actually works.

AMAZING RACE

This weekend was Twin Cities Marathon weekend - the race I was training for this summer and was planning to run with my brother, Mike.

Life, as we know, intervened. So a few weeks ago I asked my rehab physiologist (aka boss-of-me) if she thought I could run the TC5K instead. I got permission from her, and my cardiologist, with a few provisios: I was not to let my heart rate exceed 150. I could run 10 consecutive minutes, if broken up by two-minute walk breaks. I was not to race it or try for time, and I could sprint for only the last 30 seconds. And be sure to cool down completely. Other than that, no problem! Sure! That's a great idea!



So I registered for the 5K and my sweet husband rallied friends and family to dress in red and cheer me on. My boys were bright, bright red and even wearing their Red Dress pins without fuss. Aunts and uncles, parents, cousins, siblings, and friends traveled to see me. My cousin ran the 10K that morning, my boys and nieces and nephew ran in the kids' races, and we all hung out in the beautiful sun all day. I was genuinely and honestly completely happy and I'm more proud of that 5K than any race of any distance I've ever done. (My time was not too shabby either - 31.12 with four minutes of mandatory walking!)

My brother and I started running in 2008. Our first race was a 5K and I remember how hard it was (it also remains, to this day, my best 5K time). A few 5Ks and 10Ks later we ran the Twin Cities Marathon in 2009. A couple more 10Ks and half-marathons later (and a full marathon for Mike, so now's he's got three medals and I only have one), we decided we wanted to run the Twin Cities again this year.

We went to packet pickup on Friday and among all the chaos of registering children and picking up about 6 packets, bibs, and t-shirts, I noticed Mike also had a 5K shirt. My sweet brother had surprised me by registering for the 5K, reasoning that while I couldn't run with him, he could run with me. It was just the perfect thing to do, and yes, I started crying. I had way more fun running with him than I would have alone. Thanks Mikey. I love you!

We kept the fun going with a pasta party at our house Saturday (featuring tasty, heart-healthy sauces, find the recipes here), watching my brother run the marathon, and Sunday night celebrating. I volunteered at the finish line, which turned out to be a great way to be there for the marathon but simultaneously and completely distract myself. The whole weekend was fun and positive. My doctor had said I should be doing things that "feed my soul." This weekend I was very well-fed. 

My cardiologist says I have to wait three months post heart attack to train or race any harder, so I can't quite make the Monster Dash, but racing is as fun as it ever was and I'll be back at the start line just as soon as I can. But I'll have to step up my game -- I can't ever get a worse time than what I got just six weeks after a heart attack!

Thank you to my husband, Scott, for all you did to make the weekend meaningful and easy for me, and to my boys for being sweet good sports. Thank you Mike and Beth and your wonderful kids Oliver, Natalie, Jenna, and Lauren for all the fun you bring. Thanks to my dad, stepmom Sherry, brother Dylan, my cousin Janna, Uncle Scott and Aunt Laurie, Aunt Deb, parents-in-law Jim and Carolyn, and friends Christine (and her girls Maddie and Nora) and Kelly for coming to see me run. You all made the race an amazing experience!

Love,
Jen(ny)

THANKS, I NEEDED THAT

Her name was Ellen and she brought me dinner.

The parish nurse at our church has organized volunteers to bring over dinner a few times a week, and Ellen's day was Tuesday. She came to the door with a roast chicken, a salad from her garden, and a loaf of nine-grain bread. We chatted awhile, she asked how I was doing, and I replied that while my body felt fine, my head is another story. That we are all still in shock and I just don't feel like myself.

Ellen said she knew how I felt, having been diagnosed with diabetes in February. As we talked more about the challenges of special diets it hit me: Here's a woman (like me), with kids (like me), with a chronic health condition (like me), who, on a day she took off of work, is bringing me dinner.

Talk about humbling. But really, what good is a crisis without being taken down a peg or two?

When something bad or sad or scary or just hard happens to someone you love, or even someone you know just a little, the urge to help is strong. I know that this is true. I've been inundated with offers of help, and my own instinct when I hear of someone else's crisis is to start cooking, preferably pasta with some kind of cheese- or cream-based sauce. (Those were the days, but that's another post.) It's one of the best things about human beings, and no matter how cynical things may seem, it's alive and well. The better angels of our nature are with us still.

This isn't my first life crisis, and it probably won't be my last. Having learned a thing or two the first time around (the birth of my first baby nine weeks early by emergency c-section after I developed a life-threatening-for both of us-condition), I readily said yes to every offer of help I have received, and then asked for more. I've been clear about what we need, and what we don't. I've let friends see my house a mess. I've sat at my own kitchen table and watched someone else cook for my family. I've asked for favors I wouldn't dream of asking at any other time. And I haven't even sent my thank yous.

But I have noticed and I will remember. I was helped in innumerable ways then. I'm being helped now. I'll be helped again tomorrow. I can't do this alone, and I don't intend to try.

So, to Ellen and everyone who brought us dinner, took care of our children, provided transportation, bought groceries, supervised walks, hosted parties, cooked, cleaned, folded, shopped, played, emailed, wrote, and listened:

Thanks, I needed that.